Picture book...

"Well, if this whole UN thing doesn't work out I can always take up the "Got Milk?" people on their offer."


Thoughts of a bored Vice President listening to Viktor Yushenko address Congress (without the aid of a translator no less): "Hmm... Dioxin. Dammit Dick why couldn't you think of that? Then again that gay loving frog Kerry didn't need any help looking ugly."


In a surprise move by the administration, Donald Rumsfeld was the unlikely representative when the Official Project to Impliment Unlimited Military (or OPIUM) agreement was signed today between Afghanistan and the US. The fitting backdrop of an upside down Poppy, representing the international symbol for permanent military presence. Though details of the agreement have not yet been made public, sources say that soldiers are volunteering for the assignment, citing new "pharmaceutical incentives" as the chief motive.