Media in Trouble: All the news thats UNfit to print!: Lexus Liberals?

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Monday, July 11, 2005

Lexus Liberals?

Finally, the limousine liberal has something to drive. Once thought a dying breed, the limousine liberal has rendered itself quasi endagered. On the terrorist watchlist if you would. No longer. Some brilliant Marketing MBA intern figured it out!

A hybrid Lexus! Fantastic, plus his buddy who does bong hits with him basically every other night discussing the economical underpinnings revolving around Atlantic City, figured that it needs to look like an SUV!

Briallance in action folks. Most liberals are pissed off that they can't buy hybrid cars. Why you ask? Because they have all been brave enough to move into the country. And by country I mean every lot is marked by large geological structures and age old trees, not any type of human engineering. Now most of those areas get either snowy or muddy. Now try getting around all that road hazard (conveniently road appropriations are doled out proportionate to the ammount of political power a state's representative has, ie. dem blue states is gonna be fulla potholes dis winta) with a car that looks like Mork showed up on your front lawn, don't hold your breath for Mindy.

Either that or another option was the more aesthetically pleasing Honda Civic, equally suited for blue state road hazards. So ill suited in fact that the best thing a Honda is good for is putting on a Rice Burner Reemus Exhaust (I appologize if that comment is offensive to Asians, it truly is not my intent) and listening to your muffler out sound your speaker system that you have just had installed with the 16" kickers occupying your entire useable trunkspace. So out with the Civic.

The Ford? Shit its made in America, how anti-American is that. Propping up another corporation thats in the Republican pockets? Hell NO. Besides all that being bullshit, Fords are not the best made cars and that is no mystery, plus Ford's hybrid is not that great for a hybrid. 36 city/31 highway is something my mini can do better than, granted with less storage. So out with the Escape.

But Lexus is a real luxury car, comfy and apparently useful. They highlight the tax break on the website. Liberals love getting money out of the government's war spending hands. Plus I am sure it comes with a DVD player so the one who escaped abortion, can watch those Baby Beethoven videos. Sure the mileage is weaker than the Ford at 31 city/ 27 hwy. But still better than most other SUV's.

Baby Beethoven? Or Exploding Firestones?

Yeah Libs, go for it. The Lexus is the what limousine liberals should be driving. Particularly the ones that get on Hannity and Colmes pushing for Mercury Standards whilest driving Gas Guzzler SUV's. Bob Kennedy, Trade in the Expedition for the Lexus. I don't think you will miss the clunker.

Of course, my personal prefference is a VW Golf TDI. You can still put a reemus exhaust on it, system it up, its got plenty of room for outdoor activities, it gets 50+ mpg gas, and it can run on 100% biodiesel. That means you can fry a bloomin onion and drive to the store to get more! Creating no fumeage, also generating a whole lot more domestic reasons to grow and buy corn (ie. farmers like it), and its your contribution to the take no more oil from the Saudi Torturers!