Media in Trouble: All the news thats UNfit to print!: Popestock

"The information of the people at large can alone make them safe, as they are the sole depositary of our political and religious freedom." --Thomas Jefferson 1810

Friday, April 01, 2005


It is all surreal, first Terri dies, and amongst all the forgotten turmoil surrounding the Catholic church and its sexual habits, the Pope looks like he is on his last legs. A rumor around the office said he had already died. I debunked it within 3 googleseconds. Meanwhile I have been reading the DaVinci Code (great book, read it). Though I haven't finished it yet, I have already read all the parts about how the Vatican does shady things to hide possible historical facts. I digress, there is a pope about to die and I don't want this post to be outdated before I click "publish".

Folks, we are about to head into unchartered territory. This will be the first time since the inception of Cable News that a new pope will be elected. That means CNN, FOX, ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, BBC, CNN Headline news, FOX News, NEWSCORP, and of course COMEDY CENTRAL should have a little sub-cube dedicated 24 hours to the Sistine Chapel's (NO FOTOS!) chimney capturing the moment of white smoke billowing.

I was unable to find any Vegas Odds on POPEtential candidates (HA!) butSlate had some candidates up about 2 years ago. The problem with most of them is that most were 70 years old back then. If any of Slate's guys will be picked you bet your rosary they wont beat the current Pope's 2nd best record of 27 years in Papal Power. To this pope's credit the exact dates of St. Peter's reign are unknown (probably because he built the monstrous basilica).

In any case, should the pope die, too bad. However, since I have never in my life experienced the election of a new pope, I am excited. Escpecially when it will happen under the watchful eye of a GLOBAL MEDIA BLITZKREIG, which I am sure will be THE BIGGEST air wave hogger since the tragic events of 9/11.

Gentlemen... start your TIVOs.